Liquor stores are adult candy shops as far as in concerned. Rows of brightly labeled products that look oh so tantalizing. Unlike candy shops there’s no parent restraining you from the objects of your affection. Which is how I sometimes end up walking out with my own body weight in beer.

Choosing the right beer is another matter though, no matter much much I get. Many beers seem to be categorized by the brewer after quality testing a few, so the taxonomy can vary wildly. So even though I know my favorite types of beers, I’m not sure whether a can will actually be one of those. And if I want to explore something new I’m completely at a loss.

Looking up beer reviews online feels too snobby- I can almost feel my hipster-stache growing like a modern pinocchio. So I frequently choose the most interesting looking label or cleverest name to avoid decision paralysis.

I’m rarely unhappy with the beer that I choose, but a different pack could’ve been even tastier. Its a real life opportunity cost that I have to deal with regularly, and one that I frequently struggle with. What a first-world problem.

Thankfully, I find most of the IPAs that fill up half of the shelf to be generally gross, and so can ignore that whole section. But there are still typically dozens of other beers to choose between. Pick-sixes can be great, but I always fear that I’ll fall in love with one of the beers and the other five will leave me feeling unrequited. But occasionally it feels like the only way to experience the full range of suds on offer.

Really the only hard rule is never choose a four-pack. Those are just a scam.