Making friends in college was startlingly easy. Every freshman seemed to come in with a desperate fear of loneliness, clinging to whoever they remotely got along with in their orientation group. Then getting to know peers in your hall and classes. And finally joining clubs and teams with likeminded students. With each wave people seemed to become more true to themselves and form closer connections.

Even as people changed over the course of the four years the process felt much the same, incredibly natural and easy. Especially when aided by copious amounts of alcohol. All of which meant that I was unused to having to work to make friends coming out of school.

But the real world was startlingly different. I knew almost no one from school in Seattle, so had no built in ties to call upon. Most of my work colleagues were several years older, and so unlike me that even small talk over lunch felt incredibly forced.

So I was startlingly lonely for my first several months out. I remember dreading the weekends as huge blocks of time that I had to fill. Taking long bus rides around to ostensibly explore the city, but really just to keep myself a little busy. Honestly it just sucked.

Things started improving somewhat as I made a conscious effort to join meetups and sports teams, but I really had to do all the work. It was never going to improve naturally.

Taking the training wheels off is always going to be challenging. But the current system seems like going from a four-wheeler to a bike, too much change all at once. There must be some better way to train people to put themselves out there.

All this seems an especially pressing problem currently. Moving is a constant of life modern, with people frequently isolating themselves from any previous communities in search of a job or education. And then sometimes giving up and moving back because the change was too severe. Helping people develop skills to build new communities can only increase our global happiness and talent pool.